I Forget
by Risknight
Summary: After a car accident, Penny cannot remember who she is. How will everyone deal with this? An alternate universe where Shenny is alive and well.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning :This story picks up after Sheldon and Amy's date with Penny as their driver. It completely branches off from the series at that point. Some of the characters are a little bit different because of what is going on. **

**This is a Shenny story. If you don't like that, quit reading. I don't respond to pm's blasting me about the pairing. Just be glad I treated Leonard nicely even thought I don't like him much any more.  
**

**I don't own these characters, The Big Bang Theory or really much of anything. So if CBS wants to sue me, all I can offer in recompense is the entire series of Buffy on DVD, the entire collected works of Stephen King and puppy that refuses to housebreak.  
**

11:25 pm Wednesday

Room 213

Queen, Penelope M.

Everyone else was inside. He had stopped at the door, needed to gather his thoughts. He stood staring at the name plate beside the hospital room. He still couldn't believe it. And as long as he didn't go _into _the room, it wasn't completely real. His brain rebelled against that thought. He's a scientist, for goodness sake. He knows it is her in there. Sheldon sighed. He just didn't believe it.

EARLIER

"For the love of god, Sheldon!" she exclaimed as she grabbed her purse. "I have a date. I am not playing Halo tonight!"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her. "But it's Wednesday, Penny. I reminded you yesterday at work."

Penny slipped her feet into her shoes. "Yes. You told me that today is Wednesday. You never said you expected me for Halo, or I would have told you then I have a date."

Sheldon snorted. "I should not have to tell you that your presence is required for Halo, Penny. You have joined us for Halo every week for the last 11 weeks. It is part of the routine."

Penny stopped and faced Sheldon. Her heart lurched. It always did that when he was around anymore. He was upset, and she almost called her date to cancel. She hated to make him upset. Annoy, and tease? Yeah, sure. She looked for reasons to do that. She didn't like upsetting him, though. Which is part of why she couldn't cancel this date.

If she wasn't careful, she was going to fall hard for the whack-a-doodle. She had first noticed it when Sheldon made his ill-fated decision to move to Bozeman, Montana. Her heart broke a little to see him go. She tried to brush it off but when he came back the day after, she was happier to see him than she was comfortable admitting.

That's why Leonard's "I love you" was so difficult to hear, and impossible to return. Wil Wheaton's words hadn't made her want to break it off. He had just confirmed what she felt. She had avoided the guys after that. Until she and Sheldon had met downstairs and started talking. She had regretted the dinner invitation almost immediately, because she knew it wasn't due to him liking spaghetti. It was because she just wanted to be near him.

It had been surprisingly easy to slip back into the habit of spending time with the guys. She and Leonard regained their friendship, but it was Sheldon that kept her coming back. Sheldon who she knew she could not have. So, she had accepted a date with Zack. That ended quickly. She kept comparing him to Sheldon. Then she went out with Todd. Same deal. So she stopped dating. Then came Amy Farrah Fowler.

It was the night she drove them on their date that she realized what she was doing. She was waiting on him to notice her. Now he had someone perfect for him and she would have to spend the rest of her life watching them. And worst of all? She wasn't too sure she wasn't willing to do it.

So, when Elliott had entered the picture, she went for it. He was tall, good looking and he had been completely charming when he asked her out. She said yes. Now she was disappointing the one man she was trying hard not to love, because she knew deep down he would never love her.

"Sheldon, I am not discussing this with you anymore. I have a date. Ask Amy to play. She's your girlfriend." She turned and walked out the door and waited for him to follow.

"Penny, Penny, Penny. She is not my …" Sheldon trailed off when Penny held up a hand.

"I don't care, Sheldon! I have to go."

Sheldon fumed as she walked down the stairs. This was not part of the plan! She was supposed to be his partner for Halo! That's how it was. They were a team. They had been a team for almost 3 months! How dare she desert him now!

XTBBTX

He sighed at the disturbance. He and Koothrappali were teamed up. It didn't feel right. Dinner had been bland. Everything was all messed up. So having the phone ring just as they were beginning the game almost made sense. Leonard grabbed it with an apologetic look at Sheldon.

Sheldon tuned it out, still furious with his blonde neighbor. He and Penny were going to have to sit and discuss this. She needed to see the error of her ways. A loud thump as the phone hit the floor jerked his attention to Leonard, who was leaning over the back of the chair as if he was going to be sick. He looked at Howard and Raj who were standing there with wide and scared eyes.

"What is going on?" he asked slowly. Raj turned to him.

"Weren't you listening, dude? It's the police. Penny's been in an accident." Sheldon fainted.

XTBBTX

They made it to the hospital too late to see her before they wheeled her into surgery. He listened to the officer tell them about the broken brake line on the taxi, the two cars it had slammed into, one of which was hers. He cringed when the officer said that "luckily" no one else had more than a few scrapes and bruises. Penny wasn't as "lucky". The steering wheel had broken two ribs. The windshield had spider webbed mostly, but slivers of glass from the driver's side window had cause a lot of cuts. Worst, was the door. Hers had been the one the taxi hit, before pushing her into the second car. The door had crumbled. They had to cut her out. Her left side was a mass of lacerations and bruises. There was internal bleeding, and a concussion.

Leonard called her parents, who would be flying out as soon as possible. Sheldon kept his eyes on the ER doors. That was where she was. His head swirled. She was alright, he told himself. She had to be. She was Penny. Bright, vivacious, messy, annoying, endearing, lovely Penny.

Sheldon had little use for people in general. He had 3 friends, his family and that was it. Until her. She had pushed her way into his life, making a space for herself. She had been a bane at first. But she quickly worked her way into his schedules and plans. Now, she was indispensable to him. He had even once cut loose Raj rather than lose her. So he waited. He kept his eyes on the door and waited for the surgeon to come out and tell them she was fine.

PRESENT

He opened the door slowly, his eyes on the floor. He glanced up and saw Leonard sitting in a chair beside the bed. Howard and Raj were on the other side of the bed. Bernadette was over by the window. Slowly he walked forward. He heard weeping but wasn't sure if it was Raj or Bernadette. He almost gasped. Her head was bandaged, her hair pulled up into a tight bun to keep it out of the way. The entire left side of her face was swollen and bruised. The monitor beeped steadily. He could see the IV tubes disappearing under the blanket.

"The doctor says she's drugged to keep her from waking up," Howard said softly. "She has a concussion, 4 cracked ribs, a broken wrist, deep tissue bruising in her left leg with a dislocated knee, damage to her kidneys isn't too bad, mostly bruising, and they had to take out her spleen. Almost everything else consists of minor bruising and shallow cuts, except..." Howard gulped. "they said that there was some swelling in the brain. It may be nothing, but they want to keep a close eye on her."

The door opened behind them and Dr. Stephanie Barnett walked in. She gave them all a small smile. "Guys, visiting hours are over, but I talked to the desk and one of you can stay with her tonight. I'm sorry, but the rest of you can come back in the morning."

Leonard stood and shuffled his feet at the sight of his ex. Sheldon took the opportunity to sit in the chair. "Hello," Leonard said in a strangled voice. "Thank you, Stephanie. It means a lot that you did that."

She smiled at Leonard wistfully. "I know she's your friend. So, which one of you is staying?"

"I am."

The others stared at Sheldon in surprise. He hated hospitals unless he had an appointment. He didn't take his eyes off Penny. Bernadette walked over to the bed and looked at him carefully. Her eyes widened.

"Sheldon, are you sure?" Leonard turned back to the bed. "I can stay. I know how you feel about hospitals."

Sheldon waved away the offer. "Leonard, I will stay. She said I was her best friend. That means I should be here when she wakes up. It's non-optional."

Leonard started to argue, but Bernadette shook her head. "Okay, Sheldon. We'll be back in the morning." He nodded and they all moved out into the hall. She turned to her boyfriend as she closed the door behind them. "He needs to do this," she said. "Why didn't anyone tell me they were dating?"

They all goggled at her. "They aren't," Leonard stammered. "Sheldon is with Amy. Penny had a date with some new guy tonight."

Bernadette bit her lip. "Are you sure? Because he's pretty devastated."

"Bernie, honey," Howard said softly, "we're all devastated." She shook her head at them.

"No, We're all upset and scared. But Sheldon is devastated. He looks like his whole world is falling apart."

The guys looked at each other, and then through the window in the door. Sheldon was still sitting there, head bowed. His hand was gripping the blanket tightly and they could see his shoulders shaking. They slowly moved away, wondering how they had never noticed this before.

Leonard waited for the jealousy and anger. But all he could think was how panicked he had been that she might die. But it wasn't because he loved her. His first thought was, how do I tell Sheldon? Something eased inside him. He had always known they had a certain chemistry. And she was able to work around his roommate like no one else ever had. If Bernadette was right, could he really stand in the way of his two best friends?XXXXXX

The nurse had just been in to check her vitals when his phone rang. He looked at the screen and answered. "Now isn't a good time, Missy."

"Oh, Sheldon! Are you okay? I woke up from a nightmare and had to hear your voice," she said. He sighed softly. Missy believed twins shared a super natural connection. Pure hokum.

"I am well," he replied. "Goodnight."

"No! Wait!" she shouted. ""What's going on Shelly? Something is wrong. I can hear it in your voice!"

He closed his eyes and leaned back in the hard chair. "It's Penny," he whispered. "She's been in an accident. A taxi hit her." He considered hanging up, but he knew she would just call momma. He heard Missy gasp. She liked Penny, he knew. They had gotten along rather well when Missy had visited.

"How bad is it?" she asked worriedly.

Sheldon cringed. "They aren't sure yet. There's some… she has a concussion and some cranial swelling. Her spleen had to be removed. Several broken bones. The rest is superficial." He took a deep breath. "I fought with her tonight," he said softly.

Missy clucked her tongue. "Sheldon, you are not to blame! Don't you even think that!" He could hear her slamming something. "Look, I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm packing a bag now. I'll try to hurry."

Sheldon shook his head. "You don't need to…"

"Yes," she said gently. "I do. Now hush and try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning, come hell or high water!"

Sheldon hung up the phone and looked at Penny. She looked so pale. He knew he was at least partially to blame. He had upset her just before she left. An upset driver was not always quick to react. He tentatively touched her hand where it lay under the blanket.

"Please be okay. I'm sorry."

XTBBTX

He woke to see a strange man standing by Penny's bed. The man was tall, wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. Sheldon had never met her father, but this guy had the same eyes she did, so he knew who this was.

"You the other neighbor? Leonard's friend?" Wyatt asked.

Sheldon rubbed his eyes. "I'm her neighbor, yes, but also her friend. My name is Doctor Sheldon Cooper."

Wyatt nodded. "Thank you for staying with her. That lady doc said they were keeping her asleep for now. Might be a few hours before they wake her up. You should get on home and rest."

Sheldon clutched the blanket tighter. He didn't want to leave.

The door behind him opened and an older version of Penny walked in carrying two cups of coffee. She glanced at Sheldon but went to her husband's side. She wordlessly handed him a cup. Sheldon stood and gestured to his chair.

"Ma'am, please take this chair." The woman looked at Penny and swallowed. She nodded her thanks and gingerly sat down. He turned to Wyatt. "I'll be back later this afternoon. I'll bring some things she will need when she does wake." He kept his voice low and respectful. He forced himself to turn and walk out of the room. His momma had raised him to be a gentleman. He knew that family came first, always.

He found Missy and Raj sleeping on a couple of chairs in the waiting room. He sat down beside her carefully. She yawned and opened her eyes. Quickly she sat up. She had arrived around 6am. They wouldn't let her visit, so she had decided to wait there. She looked at her twin with anxious eyes. He looked like hell. She was most surprised by the dried tear tracks on his cheeks. She couldn't remember the last time he had cried.

"Shelly? Is she…okay?" He leaned his head back and sighed.

"She is still unconscious. Her parents are with her now." He rubbed his neck. "I need to go home. She will want her pajamas and her slippers when she does wake up."

Missy stood and pulled him up with her. "Your friend Raj gave me his number when I was here before. So when I got to the airport, I called and asked him to drive me over. He said that he'd stick around and drive us home if we needed." Sheldon's eyes widened. That was unexpected. Missy began walking to the elevators, while Sheldon woke up Raj. Slowly they trudged along. He was exhausted, but there were still things he had to do.

XTBBTX

It was after 3 when they came back. Missy had insisted he get a couple hours sleep. Then he had let himself into Penny's place and gathered her sleepwear, slippers, and toiletries. Missy had been absolutely certain Penny would want her brush, make up and lotion.

They walked down the corridor with Howard and Bernadette who had picked them up. As they got nearer, they slowed. Penny's dad and Leonard were standing beside her room trying to comfort her mom. Sheldon felt his heart stutter.

Leonard looked up and he saw hope and fear in his friend's face. Leonard walked over slowly.

"She's awake," he said in a low voice. Sheldon pushed past him and rushed to her room. Leonard held out a hand to stop the others. He looked over his shoulder at the door Sheldon slipped through. He turned back to his friends. "There's a problem."


	2. Chapter 2

**Penny's been in an accident. It's about to change everything for everyone. This is AU. I tried to keep the basic characters close to canon, but I veered a bit . I also took a bit of liberty with the medical stuff. Transference is real, I just used a very loose interpretation of it.  
**

Sheldon was so glad to see her sitting up against the pillows. Raj was sitting beside the bed looking at the floor. Penny looked over and watched him approach. He hesitated when he saw the cool detachment in her eyes. The bruises across her face and arms were a deep purple. He glanced at Raj who nodded and stood. Raj gave Penny a small wave and moved out of the room. Sheldon clutched the overnight bag close.

"Hello Penny." He looked back down at the floor. She didn't respond for several seconds, so he looked back up. She was still watching him, but with a slight frown now. He had expected anger or even frustration. He had hoped she would be happy to see him. Instead she looked at him blankly. He set the bag on the end of the bed. "I brought you some things you may need. How are you feeling?"

"I hurt, but nothing too ghastly. So, who are you?" she asked.

XTBBTX

"None of us?" Howard repeated. He looked at Penny's dad, who shook his head. Missy patted Bernadette on the back as she cried softly.

"She says the last thing she remembers was sitting in her room trying to figure out if she actually wanted to be in college." Wyatt shook his head. " She doesn't even remember Kurt, which isn't a bad thing I guess. Seven years, gone just like that. She was a bit freaked out to find herself in California."

"But she will remember eventually, right?" Missy asked. "This isn't permanent."

Stephanie shrugged from her spot near the door. "There is no way to know for sure. She may remember tomorrow, it may take a year, or she may never get those years back. The brain is a strange and complicated organ."

"We'll take her home," Wyatt said. He glanced at his wife who continued to stare out the window.

"No." They all turned to see Sheldon approaching them. "She isn't going back to Nebraska." His face was hard and determined. "If she is to regain her memories, she needs to be here where those memories happened."

Wyatt stood and regarded the tall man carefully. "She needs proper care for her body first. Then we can worry about her memories."

"She can get that here. She has friends. And she has me. You cannot take her away from here."

Penny's mother spun around. "And who do you think will stop us? WE are her family."

Sheldon opened his messenger bag and withdrew several sheets of paper. He handed them to Stephanie without taking his eyes off Mrs. Queen. Stephanie scanned then and then looked at him in shock. Slowly, she turned back to the group. "He's her power of attorney. According to this, she gave him the power to make medical decisions in the event she was unable to do so."

Leonard smothered his relief that Penny wasn't going to be whisked off. Sheldon would see to that. "Um, yeah. The time she dislocated her shoulder. A week later she signed that in case anything else ever happened. I remember that. She made you promise to never have her sterilized, didn't she?"

Sheldon gave a ghost of a smile. "Yes she did. She even made me put it in writing." Stephanie smiled and waved a form slightly, having run across that very amendment. "So this means I make the decisions. I am sorry to upset you, Mr. and Mrs. Queen, but I'm trying to do what is right for her. If she leaves here, the changes of a full recovery drop by over 40%. Penny is my best friend. I promise to take very good care of her. You are more than welcome to stay here. I can get you a hotel room so you will be near, but Penny stays here."

Mrs. Queen started to protest again, but Wyatt felt some respect for what he saw in this young man, so he spoke up. "We need some time to think about this. After we get some rest, we will return. Then you and I will have a sit down, young man."

Sheldon nodded but there was no lenience in him. "If you wish. But while you are thinking, consider this, You and your wife run a large farm. You are raising your son's kids. That's a lot of responsibility. Here, there is Leonard, Howard, Raj, Bernadette and myself."

"And me," Missy interrupted.

Sheldon spared her a smile and continued. "I have a job that allows me to work from my home if necessary. I spoke with the head of my department before coming here. He has already agreed to grant me a vacation at a moments notice so I can take care of Penny. She would not lack attention and support with us, I promise you. We all care very much about her. She is part of _our_ family. She is, in essence, the nucleus of our family."

Wyatt looked at each one of his daughter's friends. Friends she no longer remembered. They all stood straight and sure. No one dropped his gaze. He gave a short nod to Sheldon and gathered his wife. They accepted the key to Penny's apartment from Sheldon so they could get some rest. The group was silent for a long time. Leonard finally stood and walked over to Sheldon. He hesitated a moment and then just plunged in.

"Do you love Penny, Sheldon?" He watched his friend's eyes widen and then blank out.

"Leonard, Penny is my friend. I assure you that Penny and I have never expressed the slightest interest in changing the paradigm of our relationship." Sheldon's eye twitched very slightly.

"Sheldon," Leonard said with a hint of amusement, "you didn't answer my question. Do you love Penny?"

Sheldon stared at the floor for several seconds. His voice was barely a whisper. "I did not mean for it to happen, Leonard. I'm not even sure when it did. By the time I realized it, I was already there." He looked up at his friend with tortured eyes. "I promise you, I will never act on it."

Leonard gave a sad smile. "Sheldon, you are my best friend. I care about you and Penny both. I want you to be happy. And I think you two would make each other happy. I am attracted to Penny, but she was right. We don't really love each other. Not in a healthy kind of way." Sheldon's eyes held a small glimmer of hope. Leonard smiled at him. "What do you say we get her healthy and see what happens?"

Sheldon couldn't believe his ears. Leonard couldn't really mean what it seemed, could he? Did he actually have a chance with Penny? He was afraid to push for answers. Instead he just nodded. "Thank you," he said

XTBBTX

She ached all over. Especially her head. She watched the young guy watching her so closely. The tall one had introduced him as Raj when he came back in. He hadn't said anything other than hello to her so far. Maybe he didn't speak English, she thought. Either way it was a bit creepy the way he kept smiling at her. The other one (Sheldon, she thinks he said) had told her they were friends. He had looked pretty upset when she said she didn't know him. Join the club, she thought to herself. I'm feeling pretty upset myself.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Eight years, her dad had said. She had lost eight whole years. So much time gone, but yet she felt strangely relieved. Had her life sucked so much that she was glad to forget it? She heard the door open so she straightened up and opened her eyes. A couple of girls, a couple of guys, and the Sheldon guy again. Were these others friends too? They seemed to be waiting on something, her to say something probably. She just looked at each one carefully. A tall brunette. She could be a model. A shorter guy with glasses. He had been here when she woke up and he seemed nice enough, in a quiet sort of way. A perky blonde with glasses who was smiling hopefully at her. And good lord, what was this guy wearing? Purple jeans with a purple turtle neck and a black and purple sweater. He was one fashion challenged individual. She wasn't even going to think about the hideous belt buckle that looked like a bat.

Just then the model walked over and sat on the edge on her bed. Penny couldn't help it. She freaked. She began frantically pushing the call button.

"Are you crazy?! Do you have any idea how many germs you just transferred to my bed! Oh dear lord!" The nurse walked in and Penny yelled for new blankets. Wide eyed, the nurse scampered off. These people were her friends? How could they be her friends without knowing how she felt about germs? Penny was trying to throw off the contaminated blankets when Sheldon suddenly grabbed them and jerked them off. He had found a sheet in the cabinets and quickly covered her with that. She started to protest when he held up his hands and showed her the gloves he had slipped on. She took a deep breath and calmed down slightly. She looked at the woman who was wringing her hands and trying to hold back tears.

"Penny," Sheldon drew her attention to him. His voice was gentle despite his stunned expression, and had a thick western twang to it. "Missy just got carried away. She's been very worried about you, just like we all have. I promise, no one else will sit on your bed, okay?" She slowly relaxed back into the pillows. She believed him, although she wasn't sure why. Maybe because he had seemed to understand her fear. She nodded and looked back over to Missy. She gave her a tentative smile which Missy returned ten-fold.

"Thank you for worrying about me. I am grateful for your concern. I will forgive you for spreading germs this time since you were overwrought." Missy's eyes widened and she looked at Sheldon for guidance. Penny turned back to the quiet boy beside her. He was once again looking at her sadly.

"Penny, are you hungry?" the guy with glasses asked. She shook her head.

"Dr. Barnett said I could only have broth today. I tried to tell her it was pizza day but she said I would have to wait 2 days for that. I don't think she understood me when I told her I would have to wait until next week then. For a doctor she doesn't seem to understand schedules very much." Penny was straightening the seams on her gown and did not see the shock on everyone's faces. By the time she looked up, they were carefully masking it. "Are my parents still here?"

Um, no," Missy said when no one else spoke up. "They went to get some rest. Sheldon gave them your keys. They will be back later, though." Penny nodded and adjusted her sore arm.

"Okay. I think I want a nap now. I'm sorry to keep you all here." She frowned slightly. "I do hope mom and dad don't move anything in my home. Mom does not always understand the importance of things being in their proper place." Sheldon walked over to the group.

"We will let you rest, Penny. We will go eat and then return to see how you are faring." They all moved to the door as the nurse came in with some blankets. Swiftly they headed for the waiting room. There were other people in it, so Bernadette suggested they go outside to the small garden. In the lobby they ran into Amy who had arrived to bring balloons to her friend Sheldon's friend. The garden was empty and they all took seats on the benches.

"What the frak was that?!" Howard exclaimed. "If I hadn't seen it, I never would have believed it!"

Missy thought about the panic and annoyance Penny had shown when she sat on the bed. "It was like she was Sheldon,"

"She keeps doing things like him. The nurse asked if she was okay and she said she was fine. Then her eye twitched." Raj said worriedly.

Amy looked at the group. "What has happened?" Quickly Leonard filled her in on Penny's behavior in the room. Amy nodded wisely.

"Transference." she said calmly. "It's not usual, but it's not unheard of either. I have a colleague who has studied it extensively." She handed Sheldon the balloons and held up her hands. The left was a fist and the right was spread open. "Imagine my right hand is the amnesiac's brain. Now, my left hand is the things the amnesiac is accustomed to. Behaviors, activities, speech patterns, etc. These are not usually the amnesiac's behaviors or speech. Just things that the person deals with on a regular basis. Something they focus on." She wrapped her right hand over the left.

"With the amnesiac's mind a blank slate, they fill that void with the things ingrained in them. An attempt to supply themselves with some sense of normalcy. It is a coping mechanism." She took back the balloons and waited for them all to make the connection.

"So," Leonard began slowly, " that means she is acting like Sheldon because she knows how he acts."

"No," Bernadette said in a low voice. Everyone looked so confused except for the Amy. "It means that Penny has spent so much time and energy focused on Sheldon, that now her instincts only remember him. She is acting in this way because so much of her mind caters to him."

Amy nodded in agreement. She looked at her friend who looked thunderstruck. "You said once that Penny considers you her best friend, correct?" Sheldon nodded. "Then it makes sense that you would be the one she would cling to. She may not remember you consciously, but subconsciously, she is seeking that connection."

"That would also imply that her memories are still there, she just can't find them," Bernadette said. Amy nodded.

"I would think so. I myself, work mostly with primates, so I do not have much experience in the field of amnesia, but I have some contacts I can call for more information."

Sheldon nodded. "Thank you, Amy. That would be most helpful."

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She was still awake when they came back. Two nurses were there to change her dressings but Penny was panicking. Sheldon recognized this. It was how he felt when surrounded by strangers. He twitched a moment but Penny's panic was overcoming his own. So he walked to the head of the bed and began singing to her in a low tone. Missy was shocked to hear the words to soft kitty. After a few minutes Penny had calmed down enough to let the nurses do what they needed to do. The rest of the group had watched the episode with varying degrees of awe and bewilderment.

Soon after the nurses left, they discovered another surprise. Penny panicked easily. She panicked if you touched her. She panicked when strangers came in the room. She especially panicked if you touched her bed or tray. Unless you were Amy. For some strange reason she never even flinched when Amy handed her the balloons. She only smiled and said thank you. Even Sheldon had to wear gloves to touch anything. Amy had no explanation for this. She and Penny had only met twice. They were not friends, so there shouldn't have been any suppressed memories of Amy for her to connect to.

What they didn't understand was the relief Penny felt when she looked at Amy. Everyone else made her fidget because they looked at her with expectations. They watched her closely, waiting on her to remember. Amy did not. Her gaze held no hope _or_ disappointment. It was a relief to Penny's overworked emotions. Amy did not make her feel like a failure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Penny acts a little bit like Sheldon because she doesn't remember how to act like herself. You'll also see a bit of Leonard in her, with her lack of confidence. Don't worry. It's not permanent.  
**

Everyone else had gone home by the time Wyatt showed back up around 6. Penny had been given another pain pill and was sleeping. Sheldon looked at her dad and wondered what he could say to convince this man to leave her with them. Wyatt kissed her forehead and turned to the door, crooking his finger at Sheldon to follow.

They walked to the lobby and sat down across from one another. "Why are you so opposed to us taking Penny home," he asked in a low voice.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "I was a child prodigy. I was in college by age 11, and a guest lecturer by 15. I never had any real friends. Then I met Leonard. He introduced me to Raj and Howard. We met Penny when she moved into the building. She introduced us to Bernadette." He looked up at Wyatt. "Before Penny came along, we were four nerds who hung out because we didn't have any other friends. We don't fit in with most people. But Penny, she changed that. She is nothing like us, and it shouldn't work, but it does. She is out going, friendly, sociable and charming. And in no universe should she ever have chosen to be friends with guys like us. But she did. She made us real friends, not just four guys with no one else. She cares about us. She takes care of us. She defends us. We care about her. There is nothing any one of us would not do for her. Combined, there is nothing we can't accomplish _for_ her." Sheldon took a deep breath.

"I'm not asking you to let us do this because it would be tough on you to care for her. I'm asking you to leave her with us because we need her. We need her maybe even more than you do. She really is the nucleus of our group. Without her, we fall apart. We can do this, I promise you. More than that, we _have_ to do this. Penny would not abandon us without a fight. We will fight for her, too. Mr. Queen, Penny means the world to us all. We love her. Please don't take her."

Wyatt stood up and walked over to look out the window. "She is our daughter and we love her. But we've never understood her. Margaret, my wife, she wishes Penny was more like her. I wish she was more like me. She's just like my dad, though. She lives her life by her own set of rules and goes after things with her whole heart and mind. Once she's set on a course, there's no turning back. Even if she crashes and burns, she never gives up."

Wyatt looked back at the skinny man. "Okay. I'll give you a chance. But I want weekly updates. And if I suspect for even a moment she isn't being given 100% care, I'll snatch her back to Nebraska so fast your head will spin." He watched the relief pour over Sheldon and smiled. He just hoped this was the best thing to do.

XTBBTX

It was three more days before they would release Penny. Those three days were filled with a lot of trial and error. Penny, the most outgoing person the guys knew, was timid and easily upset. Sheldon the most introverted person ever, was being pulled out of his comfort zone constantly. He found himself astonished by how quickly he became accustomed to touching Penny. She shied from everyone except Sheldon and Amy. When she was crying or scared, she would allow him to console her even though it was usually just holding her hand. On occasion she would sit with Amy, hip to hip. Amy would talk softly to her, helping Penny push aside her worry.

With Amy she relaxed more. Sheldon thought it might be the calm way Amy behaved. She was never upbeat like Missy or Bernadette. Penny seemed to like the other women, but she truly enjoyed Amy's presence, almost as if it was a balm. That was especially noticeable when Penny had a headache that Soft Kitty couldn't sooth. Her head ached often, both from the injuries, and from stress. She stopped taking the pain pills after the second day. She hated the woozy feeling they gave her. At those times, she would tune out everyone in the room but Amy. She would encourage Amy to talk about her work, or her life. Gradually, the more Amy talked, the more the tightness in Penny's eyes would ease. And every night, she asked Sheldon to sing her to sleep.

When it came time for Penny to go home, they had worked out a suitable plan. Leonard moved into her apartment, temporarily, while she would be set up in his. That way Sheldon and Missy both would be there 24/7. Amy had spoken to her colleagues who had some tips for them all to try to recover her memory. Bernadette had suggested finding some nursing students to come over in the mornings. Sheldon quickly vetoed that though. Penny was already uncomfortable enough with just this group. More strangers would only upset her. Besides, he didn't like the idea of strangers traipsing through his apartment. Penny' parents had left that morning for home, and while she had not liked seeing them leave for the most part, she was also a tiny bit glad. Her mom kept telling her stories of when she was a child, but since Penny still remembered those things it just served to remind her of what she had lost.

By 2pm, Penny found herself sitting on a leather couch in an unfamiliar apartment. At first Sheldon had set her down at the far end of the couch but she had not liked it. It felt wrong somehow. So, she had moved over to the end closest to the door. It felt better, still not quite comfortable, but not as wrong as the other end had felt. Only Howard had noticed the flicker of pan in Sheldon's eyes when she moved out of his spot. To Sheldon it felt like a rejection.

She was struggling to remain calm. She understood these were her friends. She understood they wanted to help her. But to be honest, the only ones she truly felt comfortable with were Sheldon and Amy. Sheldon was strong. Not physically, although he had carried her up the last two flights of stairs with only minimal difficulty when her leg started to give out, but emotionally. He seemed to know instantly how she was feeling, sometimes even before she did. He would sing that wonderfully soothing song to her. It almost never failed to calm her down. Amy was so sweet to her. She was surprised when Leonard told her that she and Amy had only met recently. She felt like this woman was a huge part of her life. Amy never got flustered, always seemed to accept Penny at face value.

Penny glanced at Amy who was standing by the kitchen table. Sheldon was across the hall, directing the other guys on what clothes and items Penny would need for her stay. Bernadette was at work and Missy was taking a nap, having been up all night assembling a twin bed in Leonard's room so the girls both had somewhere to sleep that wasn't a couch. She bit her lip and felt tears well up in her eyes. She hated being so emotional. She knew it was partly because of the amnesia, but also a side effect of her pain.

Amy looked over and then moved to join her on the couch. Amy wasn't sure how it had happened. She barely knew this woman, and to be honest, the Penny she was learning about wasn't the true Penny. She was amazed by the way Penny turned to her. She seemed to always want Amy around. Amy had never had anyone want her around before, except her mother. As soon as she sat down, Penny leaned her head on Amy's shoulder and sniffled.

"I feel useless," Penny whispered to her. "Everyone is trying so hard, and I'm still sitting here with absolutely no idea who these people are." Amy patted her shoulder and began to rock her cautiously. "What if I never remember, and they don't like this me?"

"No one expects you to be able to wish things back to the way they were," Amy said sensibly. "We all know that this is going to take time. And we also know that you may never remember, Penny. Don't be upset. Your friends like you no matter what."

Penny cried quietly. "That's part of why I like you, Amy. You like me. This me. You aren't waiting on me to be the old Penny. Everyone else looks at me with these expectations, and I feel like I'm letting them all down. You never act like I'm a bother, even though I'm sure I am sometimes. I'm so grateful to Sheldon for introducing me to you. You treat me like a person, not an invalid." Penny looked over at Amy's face. "I just hope that if I ever do get my memory back, you like that me too."

Amy felt tears in her eyes. This woman, who was pretty, sexy, and charming liked her! Frumpy, dull Amy was friends with the popular girl. She hugged Penny tight. And what's even more astounding, Penny seemed to think _she_ was the one who was the outcast here.

Sheldon leaned his head against the wall in the hallway. He had heard Penny's words. He hadn't realized she felt that way about himself and the others. He looked back over the four days. She was right. They did keep expecting her to just wake up and be their Penny again. He stood and straightened his shoulders. No more. She didn't need pressure from them. He wasn't going to stop trying to get her memory back, but he was going to show her that she was a part of their lives even if she never remembered.

XTBBTX

Raj and Leonard had brought take out from the Szechaun Palace for everyone. Penny sat between Sheldon and Amy and listened to everyone talking. During a particularly strong debate over who was the better batman, Raj suddenly spoke up in defense of Val Kilmer. They were still having a hard time getting used to Raj's newfound ability to talk in front of the women. When Amy posed the theory that Penny's accident and the events of the last few days had shocked him enough to overcome it, Raj had almost hugged Penny. Only her frantic scrambling into Amy's side had stopped him.

Raj was immediately contrite. "Penny, I am sorry. I am so used to you hugging freely, that in my excitement, I forgot." Penny struggled to overcome her panic and took several slow deep breaths. Amy's hand was rubbing the small of her back and she saw the concern in Sheldon's face. Slowly Penny scooted back into her seat, ignoring the throbbing in her knee and ribs, and reached out to touch the sleeve of Raj's shirt.

"I am sorry, too. I apologize for not reacting the way you expect. I guess we both have a learning curve now." She offered a timid smile and was gratified to see Raj nod. He gave her a short bow and resumed his place on the floor.

Penny went to bed not long after that. She was still easily worn out and her leg hurt a lot from her reckless movements earlier. But it had been sort of nice to sit in a comfortable couch with people who obviously cared about her. No strange beeping noises, no uncomfortable exams, no strangers in and out constantly.

Penny woke up at 6am. She looked over at Missy who was sleeping soundly. Slowly, Penny shifted in bed until she was sitting on the side. She didn't want to wake the young woman, but she really needed to pee. She was biting on her lip when she heard voices in the hall. She picked up her slipper and threw it against the door. After a moment the door cracked open and Sheldon and Leonard peered in. She waved them over.

Her face turned a delicate red as she whispered, "I um, have to urinate."

Leonard and Sheldon exchanged glances and nodded. Leonard walked over to the dresser and got her some clothes while Sheldon helped her stand and hobble into the bathroom. He held her steady and averted his eyes while she pulled up her gown and sat down. Then he walked out and shut the door. When she was done, the two men walked back in.

"Penny, until you get some mobility back in your wrist and leg, you're going to have to have help dressing. Undressing wasn't so hard, because you were still in a gown when you came home from the hospital. Leonard is going to have to help me get you into real clothes. Unless you want us to call Amy over so she can help Missy."

Penny seriously thought about asking them to do just that, but she knew Amy was probably still asleep and had to work today. She looked at Leonard and saw only compassion in his eyes. Slowly she nodded and held up her feet so they could pull her sweat pants onto her legs. She couldn't stop the twitching when Leonard put his arm around her back to help her stand, but she did manage not to pull away. Once her pants were on, he left Sheldon to remove her gown and pull her shirt over her camisole. Once she was decent Sheldon picked her up and carried her into the living room, saying it was easier on her leg than hobbling that far.

Leonard was making breakfast and Sheldon turned on the tv. He turned on a tivo'd episode of Project Runway and went to help Leonard carry over the plates and glasses. Leonard quirked an eye at Penny's expression. "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

Penny looked over at him in confusion. "You guys watch this show a lot?"

He looked at Sheldon who was just as confused. "Not really. Missy likes it, and you used to. Is there something you would rather watch?" Penny thought about it carefully. She didn't really remember too much about tv. There wasn't any show popping up in her brain that she would prefer, but she didn't really care for this either.

"How about a movie?" Sheldon suggested. Suddenly Penny knew what she wanted to watch.

"Iron Man?" she asked hopefully. Sheldon and Leonard both smiled and nodded. Leonard retrieved the dvd and turned it on. When Missy woke up a couple of hours later, Leonard had left for work and Sheldon and Penny were watching Iron Man 2. She helped herself to some coffee and joined them on the couch. The siblings were very surprised when Penny reached out and took Missy's hand in hers. She shrugged at them.

"Raj said I am a hugger. I want to get that back. So, step one, touching." she said.

"What's step two," Missy asked.

Penny grinned wryly. "Not flinching while engaging in step one." That evening Bernadette and Howard brought over burgers from the cheesecake factory for everyone. Dr. Barnett joined them so she check on Penny but no one failed to notice most of her attention was focused on a beaming Leonard.

XTBBTX

Penny let Missy help her get out of the shower and dry off. She hated feeling so helpless, but until the braces came off her wrist and knee, she didn't have many options. They worked together to get her gown on her and then she sat still while Missy braided her hair. She looked at Missy and bit on her lower lip.

"Missy, you live in Texas, but you knew me, right? Before?"

"Sure, sugar. We met and you let me stay at your place. We've exchanged emails since, and one or two phone calls. Why?"

"Am I gay?" she asked. Missy's eyes bugged out a bit. Penny tilted her head. "I guess that's a no?"

"Um, yeah, that's a no," Missy said. "What makes you think you are gay?"

Penny furrowed her brow. "Well, I'm not dating any of these guys, and I don't seem to be attracted to any of them. I feel most at ease with Amy. I don't think I am attracted to you personally, but I do think you are beautiful."

Missy smiled gently. "You are straight Penny."

"What's my place in this group, then?" She saw the confusion on Missy's face. "I mean, everyone is really smart, except me. They all have these degrees, and stuff. I'm apparently just a waitress who lives next door. I am not anyone's girlfriend like Bernadette, or family member like you. Why do they bother with me?"

Missy clucked her tongue. "Because you're their friend, hon." She shrugged. "Ya'll may not like the same things, but that makes no difference. You and these boys have always found a way to be friends."

Penny sighed sadly. "I keep doing things that feel normal to me, but surprise them. What if the me now doesn't fit in with them? How long before they get tired of it and don't want me around anymore?" Missy saw the panic settling in Penny's eyes. She wanted to hug Penny and tell her it was all okay, but she knew that would just make things worse. Quickly she opened the door and called for Sheldon. He had a knack for calming Penny down.

He and Leonard rushed in. One look at Penny's face was all it took for him to correctly assess the situation. He bent and scooped her up and carried her out to the couch. He didn't wait for Amy or Raj to move, he just sat in his spot with Penny on his lap. He eased her head into the crook of his neck and began singing soft kitty in a low voice. He watched Leonard lead everyone across the hall and he nodded his thanks. When her trembling had eased up he set her back a bit from him.

"Now, tell me what's wrong," he said. Penny bit her lip and ducked her head.

"Were we really friends, before?"

"Best friends," he corrected.

"Do you still like me, or am I pest? I know I'm not the same. Are we still friends?" He could see fear and dismay in her eyes.

Sheldon reached up and put his hands on her cheeks. "You and I have been friends almost since we met. Long before I even realized we were friends, we were. We have fought, we have helped one another, we have laughed, and we have argued. You are my best friend in the world. Never doubt that, Penelope. I was your friend before this accident, and I will always be your friend. Even if you never remember, I do. I liked the person you were, and I like the person you are. To me, they are both Penny, my friend."

Penny saw the sincerity in him and it eased her fear. She laid her head back on his shoulder. "I'm lucky to have you, Sheldon." Sheldon closed his eyes and relished the feel of her in his arms. She didn't love him, he knew. But she cared about him. And she needed him. It was enough. Later, after Penny was asleep, Missy joined him in the kitchen. He waited for her to talk, knowing she had something to say.

"Shelly, what will you do if she never remembers who she was?"

He sighed. "I will do what I can for her. It is difficult to watch her struggle. But she trusts me. She needs me. I can do no less than my very best for her."

Missy felt her heart break a little for her brother. "You realize she may never love you, right?

Sheldon sipped his tea. "I've never considered anything else. I have never dared to dream that Penny would ever look upon me as a viable potential mate. It does not matter anyway. I love her, regardless of how she feels." His face was calm. "I have her friendship. That will suffice." Missy hugged her brother tight. After a moment he awkwardly returned it. They stood there for a long time, both wishing they had the courage to dream she would return his feelings someday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah, I know, b****ut I couldn't resist making Howard sweeter.**

They all settled into a routine fairly quickly. After two weeks, Missy had to go home, so Sheldon took some time off from work. By now, Penny was pretty good at getting herself dressed and only taking a shower posed any problems, that being her hair. It was tough to wash it with a broke wrist. Leonard would check on them before work and after work the group usually gathered at the apartment. Some nights it was just the guys, some nights it was just the girls, and the rest of the time, it was all of them. Stephanie joined them occasionally. It was obvious she was interesting in rekindling the romance with Leonard, who didn't seem too opposed to it.

Having the doctor around was a blessing, too. Sheldon tended to act like a mother hen. He hovered a lot. Stephanie would occasionally have to make him back off a bit, insisting Penny do some things for herself. On laundry night Penny turned to Leonard and Raj. "I want to get out. I need fresh air. Can we go somewhere?" The boys exchanged strange looks.

"Um, that might not be such a good idea," Leonard said gently. Penny felt her smile fade.

"Well, maybe going out somewhere isn't feasible," said Stephanie, "but how about the roof? Penny could sit in the fresh air and look at the stars. It's only one flight of stairs and she can go that far on her crutches if we help."

Penny almost wanted to hug the woman. She turned pleading eyes to Raj, leaving Leonard to his girlfriend. With a sigh the boys agreed. So, in no time at all Raj was guiding Penny up the stairs while Stephanie and Leonard carried up Penny's old sun bathing chair. It was a beautiful clear night and Penny breathed deeply. It had been so long since she had been outside except for her check ups at the hospital. And who counts that?

It wasn't until Leonard's phone began to ring that they realized their mistake. He answered to hear a frantic Sheldon. "Where is Penny?! Where are you?! Is she okay?!"

Leonard immediately turned to the stairs, speaking quickly. "Everything is fine Sheldon. We're on the roof. Penny just wanted some fresh air." In seconds they could hear quick footsteps. Sheldon stormed out and glared at them all. Before he could berate anyone Penny burst into tears. Sheldon rushed over and sat beside her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make you mad. I only wanted some fresh air. Please don't be mad. I'll come back inside."

Sheldon closed his eyes and hugged her close. "I'm sorry, too." he said "I was just worried. Next time just let me know, okay?" Penny nodded against his chest. On impulse he slid into the lounge chair beside her. Her sobs became quieter. "Penny, look up here." She raised her head to see him looking up. His arm was extended toward the sky.

"Do you see that little cluster of stars? If you look to the right you can see one of the constellations. Here, follow my finger." Raj, Leonard and Stephanie sat down nearby and watched Sheldon teach Penny about the stars. Leonard put his arm around his girlfriend and Raj sent Missy a text. The night was more than half gone before any of them left the roof.

Surprisingly, Stuart from the comic store dropped in. Howard had told him about Penny's accident and he brought her a graphic novel. Penny was surprised by the gesture. She made sure to tell him how much she enjoyed V for Vendetta the next time he visited. What made her even happier though was the obvious attraction between Amy and Stuart.

One night it was just her and Howard. She had insisted Sheldon make a trip to the comic book store. She had overheard Stuart telling Sheldon he had been putting aside books for him until he could come get them and she had "thrown a hissy fit" as Howard put it. So, after she yelled and then pleaded, Sheldon agreed to go as long as someone stayed behind in case she needed anything. She chose Howard since he was the one she knew the least. She was making a concerted effort to get to know all of these people who were doing so much for her. Sheldon had spent several moments glaring some sort of warning at Howard that Penny didn't understand, but he ended up agreeing. Once the others were gone the two of them just kind of stared at each other awkwardly.

For once Howard didn't feel the urge to flirt. Almost losing Penny had changed his perception of her. Finally Penny turned to him and asked him about the insults she had heard him flinging at Raj a few days ago.

"Oh, that was Klingon," Howard replied. "A language spoken be an alien race in Star Trek." Penny knew what the show was, since Sheldon had them watching the first season. She asked him what the words had meant, and Howard began explaining them to her. An hour later, the guys ran into Amy and Bernadette in the lobby, and they all walked up to the apartment. None of them were prepared for what they saw when they walked in. At the kitchen island, Penny and Howard turned to them and raised their water bottles in a salute. "tlhIngan maH!" **(We are Klingon!)**

Amy and Bernadette looked at each other in confusion. After a moment of shock Sheldon responded with "majQa" **(well done) **and a smile. Leonard leaned over and translated to the girls.

Penny smiled warmly. "Howard is teaching me to speak Klingon! I already know 4 greetings, 7 threats, several curses and how to sexually proposition a female Klingon! It's fun!" Howard flushed at the formidable look Sheldon was giving him. Then Penny patted him on the shoulder. "Ignore sourpuss. He just doesn't want to hear me call him a DenIb Qatlh **(Denebian slime devil) **the next time he almost drops me on my head."

"I have never dropped you," Sheldon said sternly. "Yet." Penny giggled and winked at the other women.

These people were like quarks in a hardon (thank you to the science magazine that Sheldon left laying around), she thought to herself. Separately nothing special, just average people. But put them all together and they formed something really cool.

The only draw back was her feelings. The more time she spent with Sheldon, the more she _noticed_ Sheldon. She was starting to see not just the friend, but the man. This worried her. It felt like taking advantage. Every time she caught herself staring at his long hands, or watching the way those legs ate up the floor, she gave herself a mental slap. It wasn't right. Friends didn't think like that about one another.

Then Bernadette called to say Elliott was at the restaurant and was insisting on seeing her. Penny looked at Sheldon. She had no idea what to do. Sheldon took the phone and said to send him over. Amy asked Penny if she would like help getting 'spiffy' but she just shook her head. She was still wearing her pj's, but her hair was combed, and her face clean. Besides, she was on the couch, leaning into Sheldon. They had been watching Thor with Amy and Stuart and she didn't want to move.

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Penny, this is the guy you were going to meet the night of the accident." She turned confused eyes to his. "If you want, we can go next door to give you some privacy. I mean, you liked this guy enough to agree to a date, so if you…"

Penny began to fidget. She was getting better at quelling the panic attacks. "Please," she mumbled, "don't leave me. I don't care who he is. Don't leave me alone with him." Sheldon smiled and hugged her close.

"I won't," he answered. He looked over and saw the slight censure in Amy's eyes. He sighed internally. "If that is truly what you want." He knew eventually he would have to go back to sharing her with the world. He was dreading that more and more. Having her here in his home, every day, was both a blessing and a curse. He liked having her there when he got up, and when he went to bed. Knowing she was just in the next room was comforting. Unfortunately, with each passing day, it was less and less satisfying. He wanted more. And now, here he sat, waiting on someone who could destroy him. She had chosen this man over him once before. Would she do so again?

Half an hour later there was a knock on the door. Amy stood and opened it up. She was awed. The guys hated him immediately. He was tall, about 6'3". His hair was blond and perfectly styled. His smile was straight and white. His eyes were like warm chocolate, as Amy would tell Missy when she called that evening, and he only had eyes for Penny.

He carried a small gift for Penny. He sat down beside her, only the flicker of his eyes showed he was displeased by how close she was to the skinny guy. He took in the splint on her wrist and leg and smiled sympathetically at her.

"I was upset to find you had been in an accident," he said to Penny. He watched her eye him warily. He wasn't used to that. He had women falling all over him with just a smirk. He smiled nicely and held out the gift. "Your friend at the restaurant told me about the car crash. I hope you are recovering."

Penny looked at the box carefully before slowly reaching out to take it. "Thank you for your concern. I am doing well," she murmured. She looked up at this strange man and felt nothing. Sure, he was very handsome, but he wasn't appealing to her. His hair too blond, his frame to muscled, his eyes didn't hold even the slightest blue. She sighed to herself and opened the box. Inside was a small music box. It was pretty, shaped like a piano, and she momentarily wished that it had come from Sheldon instead. At that moment she knew it was too late. She was in love with her friend. Completely and irrevocably in love.

She smiled wanly at Elliott. "This is very pretty, but I can't accept something so nice." Elliott was no fool. He was very good at summing up a situation. He could see which way the wind was blowing. Oh well, he thought. Penny was very attractive, but there were other fish in the sea. He pushed the box into her lap.

"Keep it. We might not have ever had that date, but I really do want you to have it. I hope you make a full recovery." He stood and grinned. "I had hoped to ask you out again, but I can see that's not such a good idea. Goodbye, Penny." He nodded to the others and headed to the door. He opened it and gave her a mischievous grin. "If you ever change your mind, call me."

Penny waited until he was gone before she raised the lid. The song was light and airy. She looked at Amy who was sighing softly. "I love Candle in the Wind," she said with a smile. Penny broke out into a pleased smile. She held it out to Amy who took it to listen to the song. Once it ended she held it back to Penny who shook her head.

"You keep it," she said. "You like it a lot more than I do." Amy shook her head quickly at Penny's words.

"It was a gift for you, Penny! I can't take this."

Penny's smile faded. "Amy, I would really like it if you kept it, honest. To me it's just a music box with a cute song. But it made you smile. I like your smile more than I like the box."

Suddenly Amy was on the couch, her arms wrapped around her friend tightly. "Thank you, Penny! Your effervescent beauty is only surpassed by your exuberant kindness!" Penny laughed softly. She was quite used to Amy's strange way of complementing her.

Penny pulled back and smiled at her friend. "You are special to me too, sweetie. Now, let's finish our movie before Leonard gets back and complains about us watching it again." She settled back in beside Sheldon who was trying to ignore the relief coursing through him.

"Leonard is just jealous of the way you two drool over Hemsworth." Sheldon said with a roll of his eyes. Penny smiled secretively, making him wonder what she was thinking. Amy giggled as she moved closer to Stuart. She caught the look on Sheldon's face.

"I like Thor, true, but he's not why the movie makes Penny hot and bothered." Amy said suggestively making Penny squirm.

Sheldon and Stuart looked at Penny in confusion. She bit her lip and shot Amy a look that said pay back would be had. Amy just smiled widely. Penny looked at Sheldon and blushed a deep red. She muttered under her breath too low for even Sheldon's sensitive hearing to pick up.

"What was that," he asked. Penny threw her head into her hands in embarrassment.

"Loki," she whispered again. She peeked through her fingers at the confused looks the guys had. She raised her head and glared at Sheldon. "Loki, okay?!" She stuck her tongue out at the giggling Amy. "I've got a thing for Loki!"

Sheldon frowned. "Penny, Loki is the villain of the movie. He's not even your type. You usually like men with large muscles and few brains."

Penny glared at him. "Hey! There's nothing wrong with Loki! Okay, so he's a tiny bit evil. But who isn't? He's tall, dark and has that killer smile. Plus, that walk!" Penny leaned her head back on the couch. "Dear lord, that walk! That man can stalk into my room any night!"

Sheldon was stunned. Loki would have been the last person he would bet on. Especially since he, himself identified with many of the qualities of the character.

"My sister likes Tom Hiddleston, also. And she is a fan of Wallander and Henry IV also." Stuart said.

Penny shook her head. "It's not just the actor, it's also the character. Sure, he's super sexy to look at, but mostly it's the attitude. He's not really bad. He feels inferior to his brother. That's what drives him to prove himself. Sure, he goes about it wrong, but at least he does it with style."

Amy laughed. "And a sexy walk." Penny giggled and nodded.

"Yep," she said, popping the P. "Let's not forget the walk."

Amy reached for the remote and restarted the movie. Sheldon found it hard to focus on the plot. He kept watching Loki to see if he could figure out Penny's admiration for the trickster.

XTBBTX

Penny was sitting on the grass enjoying the light breeze when the woman walked up. Sheldon had been asked to submit a paper on one of his theories and when he prevaricated because it meant going to the college, she had suggested going with him. She knew he worried about leaving her alone, and to be honest, she just wanted to get out for a bit. So here she was sitting on the manicured lawn just outside Sheldon's office so he could look at the window to check on her.

"Well, if it isn't Malibu Barbie." Penny looked up to see a woman with dark hair and a nasty smile. "Or is that Amnesia Barbie?" Penny looked away hoping the woman would leave. Instead she just stood there, looking down. "How pathetic do you have to be that you have to rely on Dr. Dumbass for care?"

She didn't think about it. She certainly didn't plan it. She just opened her mouth to ask the woman to leave, but somewhere between her mind and her tongue the words changed.

"I'm not sure. But not nearly as pathetic as a woman so insecure and frustrated that she spends her time desperately trying to belittle others in the vain hope that no one else sees how utterly worthless she feels she is. Not nearly as pathetic as a woman consumed with jealousy because Sheldon isn't taking care of her instead. Not nearly as pathetic as a woman wearing those shoes."

Leslie Winkle gaped for several seconds in anger. She started to speak until she saw Sheldon and Raj staring at her from the window. Quickly she turned on her heel and stormed off. By the time Sheldon and Raj had exited the office and gotten outside, Penny was mortified and almost crying. She had no idea why she had said those things. Sheldon and Raj sat on either side of her and smiled.

"I don't know what got into me," she mumbled. "I should go apologize."

Raj shook his head and took her hand in his. "You didn't start that, Penny. It's Leslie's fault. She thought you were weak, and so she attacked. She had no idea you would go junior rodeo on her."

Penny frowned. "What's that mean? Junior rodeo?"

Sheldon shook his head. "That's actually one thing I wouldn't mind if you never remembered." Penny caught Raj's swift nod of agreement and she narrowed her eyes.

"Are you trying to protect me from something?" she asked.

"No," Sheldon said. "I'm trying to protect me." After a moment Penny smiled at him. He was so cute when he was acting all stiff and stern.

* * *

**As you can see, little bits of Penny's true personality are starting to shine through again. Teasing Sheldon, junior rodeo, even her use of "sweetie". Not much longer, now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, time to get Sheldon and Penny's feelings out into the open and let the chips fall where they may.**

It was 7 weeks exactly from the day of the accident when Penny finally got her wrist and knee braces off. The group had celebrated her new mobility by surprising her with a few gifts. New shoes from Amy and Bernadette, a pair of Hello Kitty sneakers. Raj had presented her with a very stylish green cane to match her eyes. Leonard and Howard had splurged on a high priced outfit from Juicy couture consisting of skinny jeans and a top with a jeweled collar. Sheldon presented her with her very own copy of Thor. He was pleased that he got the biggest hug.

Howard and Bernadette had brought over pizza and then the guys were going to play Halo. Penny sat her plate down on the table and cleared her throat. "So, um, now that I'm splint free, I was thinking that Leonard and I could switch back. I'm sure he would like his own bed back, and I don't like being a bother."

Everyone froze and looked at Sheldon. Penny followed suit. Sheldon took his time swallowing his bite and then took a sip of his water. He turned to Penny with a carefully neutral expression. "Is that really what you want, Penny?"

She shrugged sadly. "Stephanie said that I would need some therapy for my wrist and leg, but that otherwise I was fine. I know how much trouble you all have gone to for me, and I don't want to be a burden."

Sheldon's mind was in an uproar. He was so used to her being here, he had ignored the fact that eventually she would go back across the hall. "You are not a burden, Penny. You should know that. No one is here because they have to be. We are here because we want to be. Yes, you are getting better. But you are not fully recovered. I for one would feel more at ease if you were not alone. Just in case."

Penny narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying I cannot be trusted to take care of myself?"

Sheldon smirked. "Yes. You are utterly hopeless without me," he teased.

"Ass," Penny said with a laugh. She turned to Amy with a grin. "I say we sneak away when he's not looking. See how he likes it when I'm not here to pick on."

Everyone laughed until Sheldon's plate hit the floor and broke. Penny was shocked by the tears in his eyes. In a low voice he said, "I almost lost you once, Penny. I already know just how little I would like that." Penny was appalled by the way her joke had backfired. Sheldon rose and hurried back to his room.

Slowly Penny rose and grabbed the cane. She headed down the hall carefully. Timidly she knocked on Sheldon's door. "Can I come in," she asked.

"No one is allowed in my room," he said softly.

Penny huffed. "Sheldon, I will stand here, on my sore leg, all night unless you open this door." After a moment she heard the door unlock. She opened it up to see Sheldon sit back down on his bed. She hobbled over and sat down beside him making his body twitch. Slowly she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I never meant to upset you." She could feel his trembling. "Please don't be angry anymore," she whispered.

Sheldon's head shot up in surprise. He looked at Penny. "I'm not angry, Penny." She straightened up and looked at him. He opened his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the words to make her understand. "Penny, when we got the call that you had been in an accident, everything stopped. All I could think about was that it was my fault."

She was confused. How could he think that?

Sheldon took a deep breath and confessed. "We argued before you left that night. You left mad. You could have died and our last words were hostile ones. I almost lost you." Sheldon's eyes were frantic. "If you had… if that crash had ki…."

Penny grabbed his neck with one hand and pulled him down until their foreheads were pressed together. She waited until his eyes focused on hers. "Sheldon, the accident was not your fault. And I'm okay. We didn't lose each other. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Even if I am across the hall," she lightly touched his chest above his heart," I'm still right here. You are my best friend. You are in my heart forever. I promise you that."

He couldn't stop himself. His emotions were too exposed, and she was so close. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers. She was still for a moment, and then she kissed him back. But only for a few seconds. He felt her freeze up. He moved back after a couple more seconds in alarm.

"Penny?" he whispered to her. Her eyes were unfocused. He moved back from her slightly. She didn't move. Even her hand was frozen in mid air where it had been pressed against his chest. Sheldon grew worried. He touched her arm and it fell into her lap. Her face was slack, her eyes blank. He snapped his fingers in her face, but got no reaction. Sheldon grabbed her shoulders and called her name loudly. In moments his doorway was filled with their friends.

"PENELOPE!" Sheldon shouted, inches from her face. Amy squeezed past the others and grabbed her wrist.

"Her pulse is very fast, Sheldon! What happened?" she asked.

Sheldon took Penny's face in his hands and drew her close. She was completely submissive. He heard Leonard talking rapidly on the phone to Stephanie.

He breathed into her face. "Penny, please come back. I'm sorry. Please, Penny. Talk to me." He closed his eyes and gathered her close.

After a few minutes, he realized he could feel her lips moving. He leaned back and everyone gathered closer. Her voice was barely a whisper. After a couple of minutes it got stronger, and they could make out the words. "…eautiful mind…. Halo….sea shanties…Nimoy….0-0-0-0.…..soft kitty…." Suddenly Penny limply slid off the bed, making everyone jump.

She looked at Amy, who she had landed on. Her mouth was open in surprise. Sheldon reached for her, but she threw her arms around Amy and hugged her tight. Tears soaked into Amy's sweater as Penny sobbed loudly. Sheldon gingerly reached out to touch Penny's shoulder. Her head whipped around to face him and she reached out one hand and latched onto his shirt. She tugged him down and pulled him against her and Amy. She buried her head in his neck. He carefully wrapped his arms around her and Amy, who Penny still had one arm around.

"I remember." There were several gasps from the group. "I remember," she sobbed. "Everything! It's all there! The day we met. Age of Conan. Panty Piñata. Bacon barbeque cheeseburger, bacon, barbeque and cheese on the side. Every stupid pick up line from Howard. The time Raj made People magazine. Everything." She pulled back from Sheldon.

Her eyes widened and her body tensed. "You kissed me!"

Sheldon felt like fleeing. Penny's arm tightened around him. Slowly she twisted around, letting go of Amy. She stared at him for a long time. Then she moved in slowly. He watched in shock as she drew closer. She stopped when her lips were millimeters from his. He saw her eyes dilate, and her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip.

"Do it again," she whispered. Sheldon was sure he was imagining her words. "Please," she breathed softly.

Sheldon closed the gap between them and she immediately melted into him. He scooped her up against him and press his lips against hers tightly. She moaned low in her throat and opened her lips. He was inexperienced, but a quick study. He copied her and her tongue darted into his mouth. He should have been revolted, but instead he imitated her. Her hands clung to his shoulders as she tried to pull him closer.

Someone cleared their throat and the couple broke apart. Penny looked around in a daze. Her eyes lit up when she saw them all. Even Stuart received a wide smile. "Oh my god! I love you guys!" she said in wonder. "What you did for me.. The way you took care of me…I don't know what to say!" Howard reached down, and grabbed her under one arm and Raj grabbed the other. Howard grinned at Sheldon evilly. He pulled Penny in for a hug, which she returned without hesitation. Soon she was hugging them all. Sheldon watched as the group pulled her back out into the living room. He followed slowly. She had asked him for a kiss. Him, Sheldon Lee Cooper. He tried not to feel jealous as the others celebrated. Penny's knee was easily worn out, and she sat down on the couch.

Stephanie arrived soon after and quickly joined the list of people Penny hugged tightly. She insisted on checking Penny over and soon declared her fit. Sheldon stood by the kitchen and watched her closely. He didn't have the courage to approach her. Everyone was laughing and joking. Sheldon saw Penny draw Amy close, and whisper in her ear. Amy glanced at Sheldon and nodded. Slowly, she gathered everyone and hustled them out the door. Sheldon quirked an eyebrow at Penny who patted his spot on the couch. He shuffled over and sat down. Penny turned to him.

"Sheldon, why did you kiss me?" He swallowed hard.

"You asked me to," he prevaricated.

"Not the first time. Why did you kiss me then?"

Sheldon kept his mouth closed and stared at the floor. Penny sighed and placed her hand on his knee.

"I was so mad at myself that night," she began softly. "It was so hard to not give in and cancel my date." Sheldon looked at her, not quite understanding. "I couldn't though. It was too tempting, too easy. See, I had realized something. I discovered that I was developing feelings for my best friend. Feelings of desire and love." Sheldon's stomach flipped and he turned to face her. "I was so afraid that if you found out, you would never forgive me. You would stop being my friend and I couldn't stand that. I didn't…I _don't_ want to lose you, Sheldon. So please, tell me. Why did you kiss me?"

Her face was so earnest and open. Slowly he leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. "Because when you are this close to me, all I want to do is kiss you. I love you, Penny."

She took a shuddering breath. She had to ask. She had to make sure. "Me, the real me, or me the got-no-memory me?"

Sheldon smiled. "Have." Her face scrunched up, trying to understand. Sheldon smiled widely.

"I love you. Every you. Messy you, happy you, junior rodeo you, HAVE-no-memory you." Penny sighed happily. She tilted her head and met his lips halfway.

XTBBTX

Half an hour later, the group tiptoed back into the apartment. Sheldon and Penny were completely oblivious. She was in his lap, wrapped in his arms. They were whispering to each other between kisses. After a few minutes they were startled by clapping. They looked at their friends who were grinning broadly and applauding them. They both blushed furiously and Sheldon tossed the throw pillow at Leonard.

It was hours before they found themselves alone again. They didn't really mind, though. They had the rest of their lives to make more memories.

* * *

**If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me through the whole thing. I know some haven't liked what they see as the OOC bits but to my mind, when someone you love is hurting, it changes you. Even if it's only in small ways. I don't think it's completely out of the realm of possibility for Sheldon to be emotional. He's done it many times on the show. He's expressed anger, pride, excitement and yes, even love. This time I just had it directed at Penny.**


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